On my confirmation day, lo these many years ago, I fully expected something to happen. I’d gone to classes faithfully, I’d read, I’d thought, I’d prayed. I figured I deserved something. A dove descending. Some kind of bright light. A voice from Heaven. An inner holy knowing. Some kind of change, at least.
Something.
What happened is that the bishop anointed my forehead, told me to be good and do my homework, winked at me, and then turned to the next kid in line.
That’s it. No light, no feathers, no voices. I even stood there too long waiting for it and got hustled along by our priest. At that point, even a burning bush would have been welcome. Chalk it up to reading too many books about the lives of the saints. I don’t know. Plus, bishops weren’t supposed to wink, were they?
So you’d think I would have learned not to expect too much from those “special” days. But I still managed to get really worked up and then get really disappointed / disillusioned when nothing happened. Like…
1-1-00. Nothing exploded, the world didn’t end (which, after all, is a good thing, but still…).
6-6-06. Where was the giant battle between good and evil (again, a good thing, but still…)?
7-7-07. Certainly wasn’t the luckiest day of my life. ‘Nuff said.
And now 8-8-08. I read that when you turn an 8 on its side, it’s an infinity symbol. I read that it would be a day filled with infinite possibilities for abundance, growth, blessings. I read about meditations I was supposed to do to bring these infinite possibilities into being.
So I started the day with the thought that, “OK! It’s 8-8-08! I’m going to make the most of it! Because if you turn 8 on its side, it becomes an infinity symbol! And there are infinite possibilities out there in the universe, just waiting for me!”
Despite my readiness for something special it turned out to be disappointingly normal day. I got a late start. I drank too much coffee. I ate potato chips and regretted it. I took a long nap. I spent way too much time emailing my friends. I read some bad historical fiction (and I mean bad). It was hot outside. I got sweaty just watering my flowers and my tomato plants. I got extra sweaty during my walk.
As I walked, I was thinking the day was lost. I just wanted to get home and take a bath and eat a salad (to balance out those potato chips) and watch the opening ceremonies of the Olympics and consider it a not-significant day at all.
And then I heard a little girl singing. She was standing on her deck, head thrown back, toy microphone held to her lips, belting out The National Anthem with all her might. And I mean belting. With such joy. Wow, the lungs on that kid. It was off-key (or maybe a mixture of several keys all at once) and very, very, very bad. I put my hand over my heart as I walked past her and her Dad, who was standing there shaking his head. I waited until I’d walked well past her house and then I stood there on the sidewalk and laughed and laughed and laughed. It made my day, hearing her sing.
Thing is, if I hadn’t been so hyper about it, I probably would have been absolutely content with the day in the first place. It was low-key, relaxed, no pressures. Filled with stuff I love (books, friends, naps, food, coffee, walks, time in my garden, laughing until I cry). A rare occurrence during this busy wedding season.
Later, I got my bath and my salad and a little bit of the opening ceremonies. And, for good measure, I lit some candles and did a meditation and sat in quiet possibility for a while.
Feeling infinitely blessed by such a normal life.